What’s The Problem?

Counseling in South Tulsa

What’s The Problem?

Your problem is not the problem.  You have this thing in your life and it’s making life difficult.  You hate your job.  You’re depressed.  You have a bad marriage.  You’re hooked on those pills.  Whatever it is, it’s a problem, and you’re really tired of it.  BUT… your problem is not your problem.


Your obsession with your problem is the problem.  You sit around and think about how much you hate your job.  Does thinking about how much you hate your job get you a raise or a promotion or a more understanding boss or better co-workers or whatever it is you want?  Does dwelling on how depressed you are make you happy?  You get the idea.  The answer is, no, obsessing on your problem does not fix the problem.  What does fix the problem?


Obsess on your goals.  Instead of spending all of your time thinking about what you don’t like about your life, spend your time thinking about what you want out of life.  Now, admittedly, this will not automatically fix your problem either.  Just thinking about your goals without any action toward them, will get you nowhere.  However, thinking about your goals will motivate you to act.  Obsessing on your goals will keep you moving, keep you in the action stage of change.


Positive, goal-oriented thinking is way more powerful than many people realize.  Don’t believe me?  Try it.  Commit to focusing on what you want out of life for the next week.  Every time you catch yourself dwelling on the negative, the problem, force yourself to shift your thinking toward what you want out of life.  I would highly recommend writing these things down.  Write down who you want to be, what you want out of life.  Write down all the goal-oriented, positive thoughts you have.  Reading back over them will inspire more positive thoughts, and eventually, these thoughts will inspire action.  I’d be shocked if a week of positive thinking focused on who you want to be and what you want out of life did not result in at least one positive action.


One huge thing you will notice in this course of action is that your problem transforms from this enormous thing that’s ruining your life to something you’re determined to overcome.  The problem will still be there, but your perspective on it will be completely different.  All of a sudden, the way you approach it will be completely different too.

Obsess on the goal.  This is the first step in changing your life.